Many times relationships start to go downhill when we cease to pay attention. Pretending to listen to her is not the same as actually listening, and ignoring his problems doesn’t make them go away. Women know when you’re not listening because what they are waiting for is a response. If you are not paying attention you will not know what she needs to hear from you in regards to her situation. Our responses to women need to reflect actual concern for their issues because the truth is, if her issues are not important to you then you may need to take a second look at the relationship. On the other hand men don’t always make their problems vocal and so knowing your mate, paying attention to his actions will tell you more about him than his lips. If you ignore the problem because the problem isn’t vocalized it can seem as if you don’t care to the guy. In these situations it’s best to let him know that you will support him, over time it will come out.
Women at times must be able to balance the need for independence and freedom, with loving and being a partner to their mate. The reason some relationships fail is that their is an upset to this balance, to understand why you must understand the mind of the Male Species. Men traditionally are to be the protectors and the providers, the givers. Woman traditionally to be the caretakers, and the receivers. Today this is not so, however the elementary state of the man and woman are still the same. Today women want their independence and want to do things on their own, at the same time receiving the same affection and attention from the male counterpart. Unless there is a perfect balance, the reason this doesn’t work is the primal instinct of what makes a man a MAN is disappearing. If my instinct is to protect you to love you to “bring home the bacon” But you are completely and solely independent, My usefulness to you is gone. Whether you agree or not you have just made me meaningless in the relationship. Now how we as men respond to that is up to us. We can accept being meaningless, we can try to maintain an equal footing (best case) or we try to downgrade our counterparts. I am disgusted with the latter. Any man who feels threatened by there woman enough to want to make her feel like she is below dirt simply because of her progress and independence is not a man to me. At the same time ladies understand that our instinct is to be the Lion. You can be independent , but also present opportunities for the lion to be just that. Remember there is a difference in a relationship between independence and interdependence. Men and women are interdependent and the sooner we realize that the better our two species will be. Too much independence is a recipe for loneliness and bitterness. None of us are meant to be completely independent. Lets work together. Let’s bring back unity in love.
Self-esteem is an internal view and judgment of not just who and what you are, but it is your view of other people’s perception of whom and what you are. One thing is certain, your self-esteem is yours and is yours to control. We sometimes let other people dictate how we feel about ourselves and this is always a slippery slope. In relationships your mate should never dictate how you feel about you. Ifs/he says your fat you shouldn’t feel down. To that person I say that if your mate doesn’t love every single part of you then you must question the motives of that person being in a relationship with you, secondly who cares. It’s your body; if you are comfortable with you then you are not the problem. You don’t have the problem with you, they have the problem with you and their problem is not yours to deal with. Don’t take it upon yourself to deal with a problem that is not your own. Know yourself, love yourself and improve yourself only for you not for others.
If you find yourself in a relationship with liars on a constant basis, we should blame the liar of course for the act itself; however this is an opportunity to look inward. On an elementary level what makes children lie? Not that they like it but that there is a certain atmosphere that creates it. Intimidation is one of them. If a child lies it’s to stay out of trouble or to avoid hurting someone’s feelings. We can all agree that it is wrong however given an open atmosphere without fear there would be no need for one to lie. Sometimes we can be intimidating and create an atmosphere where a person doesn’t or cannot be forward. I consistently talk about positive and negative energy, in this case a positive open non-intimidating atmosphere goes a long way to creating an honest relationship. On the other hand if you do have this atmosphere and your spouse or lover still consistently lies to you, we have an entirely different problem. Remember also that a part of love is accepting, and if you must lie then there is a part of you that you feel will not be accepted and so the relationship itself is in question.