Why relationships go stale.

angelIf you’ve been in a relationship for any length of time, there has probably been a moment where you apex out. What I mean by apex out is that you have gotten to a point of comfort where things start to become routine. You wake up and no words are spoken you walk by each other without kisses you react to each other without thinking.  It’s not that you don’t love each other, it’s just that it seems like the spark is gone. Once in a while you sit there and contemplate on the past, the passion the fire and you finally look in the mirror and ask the question, what happened to us?  The dangerous part about this stage is the curiousness that enters your mind. The wondering if you still got it, is the grass greener? When this happens we should stop everything and have an open uninhibited discussion with your partner.  We have to remember what brought us to the dance in the first place. The reason we reach this apex is because the fact is courting is work. We spend half our lives in preparation for courting. The make-up, the work outs, the running and to be blunt even the extra mile you went to please in the bed room. The truth is once it is official, and you are finally in a relationship with someone it becomes natural logic to let things go.  We stop working out, we shove Twinkies and Donuts down our throats, we become lazier in the bed room and slowly things start to become a routine. Why?  Believe it or not it is overconfidence that you suffer from and that you must keep in check.  When we  begin to feel that there is no way my partner would leave me, or that s/he loves me too much to go anywhere else. Those who make this mistake usually are shocked when they find out that their partner has either left or cheated. We don’t think it’s overconfidence but it really is. Every once in a while we have to reignite that spark. Send your mate flowers for no reason, greet  your mate with a hug and a kiss when he comes in from work. A surprise from the normal every now and then will remind both of you why you came together in the first place. Sparks turn into flames but if we don’t maintain that flame, work on it throw wood in there every now and then, that flame eventually burns out.


Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Does He Still Think About You After the Break-up

We’ve all been there. We’ve given complete and utter dedication and love, only to have things fall apart right in front of you. He comes to you and says that there were things that led up to it and you have no idea what he’s talking about. It feels like a nuclear explosion just went off in your gut. The only thing you could think of at this point are the four words every woman utters when in this circumstance, “…but I love you”. This is what I like to call the individual love defense or ILD. The key word in this is “I”. It is almost automatic that when a breakup is occurring that we defend our feelings when we should be trying to understand his. The truth is that if the two of you really loved each other there is no such thing as an “all of a sudden breakup” and so when he says things led up to it there is some merit to that statement. So after it is all over does he still think about you? The answer is simple. It depends on what you do to leave a lasting positive impression. Many women believe that men move on easily and this is just not true. If you have been the good and upstanding woman that you feel you have been a man will never ever forget you. I spoke to a guy at school a couple of days ago, he was 65, I asked him “ what was the worst relationship you ever had?” He thought about it and it looked like it took every ounce of energy his brain had to dig into the files and remember. Finally he said “Lisa…no wait probably Amber.”  I then asked him what was one of the best relationships you’ve ever had and he answered without hesitation “Josephine.” Even though he claims to have broken it off with all of them the one relationship he clearly remembered above all was the one that treated him well even when he was not his best to her. So does he still think about you? Your reaction to the fall of your relationship determines that. If you are a believer in Karma as I am, then you will know the proper response to your situation.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment